"The Belt"

PICTURE THIS:
     You're chilling at home, throwing back a couple cold ones, when you get a phone call. "Sir," the voice on the othe line says, "I'm calling on behalf of the hospital, and we regret to inform you that your wife has been in an accident. She's in critical condition and we need you to come see her now." You know that there is only one option. You jump in your car, not bothering with the seatbelt as it would only waste precious time. You speed your way to the hospital, but on the way, a police officer spots you. He turns on his lights and pulls you over. As you're waiting for the officer to approach your vehicle, you get another dreaded phone call from the hospital. "Sir," the voice meekly says from the other side of the line, "Your wife has gone into a coma. The odds that she'll make it are very low." You burst into tears. You were only 1/4 mile from the hospital. The officer approaces your window. "Sir," the officer says, "I pulled you over because it looked like you weren't wearing your seatbelt."

     With this shirt, and the lord's blessing, may that nightmarish situation never befall you. No more need you hassle with the wretched tongue of Satan that is the "seatbelt." No more need you worry thst you won't be able to reach your loved ones in time, heaven forbid something tragic occur. If purchased, this shirt comes with the absolutely free bonus that is peace of mind, and it would simply be wrong to put a price on that.

- Fabric composition in the US: 93% polyester, 7% spandex
- Fabric weight in the EU: 6.34 oz./yd.² (215 g/m²)
- Fabric weight in the US: 7.08 oz./yd.² (240 g/m²)
- Premium knit mid-weight jersey
- Smooth, comfortable 2-way stretch fabric that stretches and recovers on the cross and lengthwise grains
- Regular fit
- Blank product components in the US sourced from the US